Darling I’ve been thinking about you. And I read this today and realise why.
Oh it’s such an important (and hidden) part of the story for so many women and you telling your version will help so many others to tell theirs/ask for help/be honest about how hard it is. thank you.
And I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I’m so sorry you’re having to wrestle with all it entails, physically and mentally. I’m so sorry the system isn’t set up so that women get ALL the support and quality care they need after birth. It’s shit. And unfair.
And most of all I’m sending you the biggest amount of love ❤️
Thanks Nelly ❤️ it's such a lot, and we don't talk about it. I just remember feeling so alone in it all for so long. I'm glad I've been able to create this space and I'm glad I've been able to have this conversations more openly with people over the last couple of years. Because it's not okay but also it's so common, it hurts and the more we talk about it, the clearer that will become xx
I'm here to tell you that you aren't alone, and what I wouldn't have given to have been able to read this when I was postpartum 26 years ago. I absolutely understand the fatigue you're feeling, and why you feel unable to back to gyno to get yet another referral. Sometimes the pain of your body is less than the pain of dealing with the medical system and with trying another treatment that may or may not do anything, if you've got the resources to engage with whatever it is you're told to do. I've been dealing with issues "down there" ever since I gave birth, in one way or another. Not continuously, but for more years than not. Last year I finally felt I'd found a PT who was helping, but then she left the practice and my insurance would not travel with her. It's so discouraging that I've just given up. Again. For now. And I know it's even harder when you're parenting small children. I don't have any good answers and I suppose this isn't very encouraging with regard to the physical/emotional struggle, but I know that things don't change if no one realizes there's a problem. I admire your courage to share so openly, to increase that awareness. I want to give encouragement for that.
"the pain of your body is less than the pain of dealing with the medical system and with trying another treatment that may or may not do anything" - I felt this sentence so much. And I think it's something I've found hard to explain to people - just I have tried, you know? I tried so hard to fix it and in lots of ways it just made it harder.
I'm sorry to hear you are still struggling, I hope you find another suitable PT soon. And you are so right, nothing changes if we don't say there's a problem. This is my big why behind doing this work.
Zoe I am so sorry you are not being able to move in the way you need. I just want to say that I witness you in these struggles.
I have never had the courage to come back to strength training or high impact training from before my babies were born, and I also deeply relate to you saying you NEED some forms of certain exercises to feel regulated. I need this too and yet I haven’t been giving it to myself because I am scared of how my body will respond.
In some ways I trust my body more than ever and in others I feel it’s so fragile.
Sending you love and grace as you journey with this. Xxx
I would really recommend Elizabeth & her approach, if you ever did feel like trying it again. But I know how scary it can feel, I've gone round and round that feeling so many times over the last couple of years. The fragile piece of it really scares me and I hate not knowing how strong I am, what I am capable of anymore. It's just all these hidden parts of our experience, isn't it. Writing about it seems to pull them all out to the surface. Thank you 🙏🏼 xx
Aww Hev 💔 it can take so long for things to knit back together. Mine are definitely caused by my pelvic floor being overtight and so many people told me to do pelvic floor exercises when really I needed to focus on relaxing them. I know that's not the case for you but I just was never told that relaxing is just as important as contracting and it's really important we receive individualised care - though very hard to access! xxx
Thank you for sharing so much of your story, to such depth and intense vulnerability. How’ve you been feeling since you got it all down and pressed send?
I’ve been feeling pretty vulnerable on a recent couple of blogs and when I first started talking about body image and my greatest of all struggles (slowing down), I used to feel physically sick and shake and then wonder why id told the world I spent half my life puking into a bin at the side of my bed because I couldn’t move to the toilet.
We do need to hear these stories. And I am finding the topic of our pelvic floor becoming of Increasing interest to me. Claire’s husband switched our focus in my weekly sessions with him some time ago to include a lot of pelvic floor connection and I’ve recently been feeling called to share what I’ve been practicing with others (particularly and especially the pelvic floor breathwork).
Aww Amber, I'd love a pelvic floor breathwork session ❤️
It's such an important part of us and I definitely didn't know half of what it can impact before all this happened - it just comes back to that huge lack of education around our own bodies. It's wild.
I think it's so important for us to talk about this stuff, because otherwise we're just suffering alone and not being able to properly support one another or learn from others.
It all comes back to the huge lack of education around our bodies and lack of understanding. The biggest shocker for me was to find out that not only do we not have that level of insight and awareness, neither do the medically trained professionals !! I’m holding to turn a workshop I attended with a pelvic floor surgeon the other day into a blog in a few weeks….she shared they only had 2 days worth of training on women’s anatomy. It’s rare I meet someone who has gone the distance in their research to the extent I have so it made for a great workshop I’d like to start with readers.
Darling I’ve been thinking about you. And I read this today and realise why.
Oh it’s such an important (and hidden) part of the story for so many women and you telling your version will help so many others to tell theirs/ask for help/be honest about how hard it is. thank you.
And I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I’m so sorry you’re having to wrestle with all it entails, physically and mentally. I’m so sorry the system isn’t set up so that women get ALL the support and quality care they need after birth. It’s shit. And unfair.
And most of all I’m sending you the biggest amount of love ❤️
Thanks Nelly ❤️ it's such a lot, and we don't talk about it. I just remember feeling so alone in it all for so long. I'm glad I've been able to create this space and I'm glad I've been able to have this conversations more openly with people over the last couple of years. Because it's not okay but also it's so common, it hurts and the more we talk about it, the clearer that will become xx
I’m also gutted you can’t move your body in the ways that are most regulating without pain.
I want to say the right thing, but maybe there is no right thing.
I see you. ❤️
❤️
I'm here to tell you that you aren't alone, and what I wouldn't have given to have been able to read this when I was postpartum 26 years ago. I absolutely understand the fatigue you're feeling, and why you feel unable to back to gyno to get yet another referral. Sometimes the pain of your body is less than the pain of dealing with the medical system and with trying another treatment that may or may not do anything, if you've got the resources to engage with whatever it is you're told to do. I've been dealing with issues "down there" ever since I gave birth, in one way or another. Not continuously, but for more years than not. Last year I finally felt I'd found a PT who was helping, but then she left the practice and my insurance would not travel with her. It's so discouraging that I've just given up. Again. For now. And I know it's even harder when you're parenting small children. I don't have any good answers and I suppose this isn't very encouraging with regard to the physical/emotional struggle, but I know that things don't change if no one realizes there's a problem. I admire your courage to share so openly, to increase that awareness. I want to give encouragement for that.
Oh Rita thank you ❤️
"the pain of your body is less than the pain of dealing with the medical system and with trying another treatment that may or may not do anything" - I felt this sentence so much. And I think it's something I've found hard to explain to people - just I have tried, you know? I tried so hard to fix it and in lots of ways it just made it harder.
I'm sorry to hear you are still struggling, I hope you find another suitable PT soon. And you are so right, nothing changes if we don't say there's a problem. This is my big why behind doing this work.
Thank you so much for reading & commenting 🙏🏼
Zoe I am so sorry you are not being able to move in the way you need. I just want to say that I witness you in these struggles.
I have never had the courage to come back to strength training or high impact training from before my babies were born, and I also deeply relate to you saying you NEED some forms of certain exercises to feel regulated. I need this too and yet I haven’t been giving it to myself because I am scared of how my body will respond.
In some ways I trust my body more than ever and in others I feel it’s so fragile.
Sending you love and grace as you journey with this. Xxx
Thank you Lauren ❤️
I would really recommend Elizabeth & her approach, if you ever did feel like trying it again. But I know how scary it can feel, I've gone round and round that feeling so many times over the last couple of years. The fragile piece of it really scares me and I hate not knowing how strong I am, what I am capable of anymore. It's just all these hidden parts of our experience, isn't it. Writing about it seems to pull them all out to the surface. Thank you 🙏🏼 xx
Hugs. I'm in the haemorrhoids club too! And every time I stand and bounce my baby it feels like my insides might fall out!
All anyone cab offer me is telling me to do pelvic floor exercises.
I'm dreading trying to have sex for the first time after thr birth.
Sending you solidarity ❤️
Our bodies are amazing and go through so much to bring our babies into the world. Xxx
Aww Hev 💔 it can take so long for things to knit back together. Mine are definitely caused by my pelvic floor being overtight and so many people told me to do pelvic floor exercises when really I needed to focus on relaxing them. I know that's not the case for you but I just was never told that relaxing is just as important as contracting and it's really important we receive individualised care - though very hard to access! xxx
Thank you for sharing so much of your story, to such depth and intense vulnerability. How’ve you been feeling since you got it all down and pressed send?
I’ve been feeling pretty vulnerable on a recent couple of blogs and when I first started talking about body image and my greatest of all struggles (slowing down), I used to feel physically sick and shake and then wonder why id told the world I spent half my life puking into a bin at the side of my bed because I couldn’t move to the toilet.
We do need to hear these stories. And I am finding the topic of our pelvic floor becoming of Increasing interest to me. Claire’s husband switched our focus in my weekly sessions with him some time ago to include a lot of pelvic floor connection and I’ve recently been feeling called to share what I’ve been practicing with others (particularly and especially the pelvic floor breathwork).
Aww Amber, I'd love a pelvic floor breathwork session ❤️
It's such an important part of us and I definitely didn't know half of what it can impact before all this happened - it just comes back to that huge lack of education around our own bodies. It's wild.
I think it's so important for us to talk about this stuff, because otherwise we're just suffering alone and not being able to properly support one another or learn from others.
Thank you 🥰
It all comes back to the huge lack of education around our bodies and lack of understanding. The biggest shocker for me was to find out that not only do we not have that level of insight and awareness, neither do the medically trained professionals !! I’m holding to turn a workshop I attended with a pelvic floor surgeon the other day into a blog in a few weeks….she shared they only had 2 days worth of training on women’s anatomy. It’s rare I meet someone who has gone the distance in their research to the extent I have so it made for a great workshop I’d like to start with readers.
Hugs.