I have written about this balance topic before, as I am with you on the opening statement, life is never balanced and I feel like most of what is talked about is BS, especially when we relate it to motherhood! There are always things.. so I love the perspective you brought today.
We need sustainability, so the ebbing back and forth is kind of what it is, and learning how to live with the chaos and challenges without it frying it us mentally. And that all takes time.
“When I read peoples words on balance, when I think about it in reference to my own life, I feel like I am failing when I shout or when I struggle or when I have a hard day. When I need to take a break or rest - that need somehow showing my failure. Like an impossible tightrope that you must never fall off of. We must constantly be trying to keep our stress processes turned off, our nervous systems beautifully well regulated.”
… not a failure when we need to rest or break at all, it is so important for our body, mind and spirit. Our society has made it look like we are “bad” for needing it because social media has promoted a fake culture of living…everyone is trying to achieve something that I don’t think that anyone is even doing! I truly believe it is about finding ways to calm the stress amidst the chaos, that is what regulating nervous system is about, because you can NEVER just turn off all of the stress! I could go on and on so I am not sure if my point came across completely 😂
Finding ways to calm the stress amidst the chaos - yes 🙌 yes!
And you’re so right, motherhood brings a whole other level.
Sarah Shotts talks about this a lot, but before I had children, I could be in really overstimulating environments and it was okay because I got to go home after and it was quiet and tidy and fine. Now I don’t get that 😂 and so, I really do need to be using these tools and practices to calm myself in the middle of all the noise and chaos because it’s not going anywhere any time soon
I love this article and the discussion in the comments. For a long time I was a proponent of work-life balance, but not in the way most people think of it. I never considered balance to be equal weights on a scale as it's actually impossible to "balance" time at home and time and work. To me balance is more about how you feel and being cognizant and intentional about the activities you choose to do so that you can feel more homeostatic, despite the fact your world might be burning down all around you.
I also like to use actual balancing poses as a good metaphor for this idea of "balance" in all other areas of life. When you stand on one foot in a. Tree Pose, for example, there is an illusion of stillness. But if you pay really close attention, all the muscles, bones, and joints are in a constant micro-dance compensating and adjusting to create the illusion of stillness. Or maybe you're not still at all and you're wobbling along with all those micro-movements. That is the pose. Being still in Tree Pose is not the pose. Being in the sway and responding to it and constantly compensating and falling out and coming back in. That is the practice and that is the pose. I life, it's about all the things we do to come back to center. All the time we set aside for practicing. All the decisions and intentional actions we take to come back to a feeling of "center."
Balance is like the word self-care. It's buzzy and totally misunderstood. Unfortunately, we live in a time when everyone wants a quick fix and a buzzword. The reality is everything in life is hard work. It's this idea of easeful living that I think is all wrong. I once took the phrase "My work is my life" and turned it on its head. Your life is your work. It's nuanced so it never caught on but I still think it's true.
What I got from this is that our idea of balance, is like seeing a still photo of someone doing tree pose on the internet, trying to do tree pose and feeling not good enough when you wobble. When the actual practicality of balance is you actually doing tree pose and accepting you’re wobbly.
I do also think though, that for some of us, falling on the floor trying to do tree pose is inevitable. This does tie into what Amber is saying above about it being society that stops us achieving this, for sure - but I do think for me, being autistic, following the metaphor, tree pose is impossible to achieve. But I still get to stand back up and fall back down and keep trying ❤️ without feeling like it’s me that’s wrong and without choosing just to keep lying on the floor because it’s safer
I hope you don’t mind me offering a few additional thoughts. First, the idea of “achieving” tree pose is oxymoronic. It assumes that there is one right way to do it. Just as no two trees are ever going to be exactly alike in nature, there is no such thing as a perfect tree pose and therefore nothing to achieve. If anything, the achievement is recognizing that there is nothing to achieve! Additionally, if you really want to be able to stand on one foot but for whatever reason it’s impossible to so without falling down or feeling safe, ask for help. Use a chair or a wall. Find support. Though society doesn’t like this either, society does support doing everything you can to “achieve your goal.” If your goal is to balance in tree pose and in order for you to do that you need help, then you need help. Simple as that. No judgments. I hope that is helpful for you.
I do think it is a bit more complex than that when you live with disability and you can ask for help and know what you need but it can be very hard to actually receive it. People don’t hear you or they don’t understand or, because you’re a minority voice, the help offered is difficult to receive and leaves you feeling like an alien. Asking for help as an autistic woman is a whole other essay, I feel.
But all of the above is something I have come to learn and am trying to accept since my diagnosis. Because I also believed that, if I just had the piece of paper that confirmed my disability and I could just ask for what I needed, I would surely receive it. And sadly that has not been the case in most instances.
So if a place or a space does not currently have capacity to change for me, then I either miss out or I need to make the concious decision to keep being there anyways and to manage the fall out of that.
Way back before I became a mother myself I did my Masters research on the experience of mothers returning to the workplace after having children. I came to the conclusion that there was really no such thing as work-life balance and that it became another thing that mothers beat themselves up about. Rather there was adaptation, adjustment, constant calibration of needs, times when different domains were dominant, very much the ebb and flow you describe. I think we are conditioned to think of ourselves like linear machines when we are complex natural systems with cyclical processes. This is yet another way the patriarchy operates!
Ooo this is an interesting thing to think about. Do you think men are more linear? And is that why this is a thing at all - because for them it’s not so hard to just be centred? Because they’re not going through these big physical life transitions (outside of adolescence and then death) and they’re not having this monthly up and down? But also they created the social system we live in…
I found going back to work so incredibly hard. Even when I went from one baby to two - which I stupidly thought would be okay because I already had done it once before 😅
I do think that there is a complete invisibility of the cyclical lived experience of women and then the transition that is matrescence (at least in our culture). Many systems and processes in modern life are based on the linear rationality of machines rather than a more fluid organic evolving process. That probably is because linearity is more typically associated with male experience. Although arguably, given that nature is cyclical, this isn’t rational at all. Which is another reason why we are destroying our environment. And men are also damaged by the narrative that privileges linear thought. Because they are part of nature too. But they have been told that they are separate from it (and masters of it). Lots to unpack here!!!!
Such interesting research! I love how you describe us as "complex natural systems with cyclical processes." If only people would click on a headline like that 😂
Yes it’s a bit like tips and tricks and hacks for life when there are no simple answers, but it makes for a better headline. If I recall, my dissertation used the language of work-life balance in the absence of anything more nuanced!
Oh - ‘there are no simple answers’ - how true a phrase. As a side note, I think this has been made worse by social media because that kind of content - ‘5 ways to feel X’ or ‘try this and feel Y’ is so easy to make lots of
Yes! The most freeing thing said as part of my sessions with the community neuro rehab team was that my way of living with M.E. might be exactly type of "pendulum". I spent the first four years post diagnosis trying to live a measured, balanced life and it was miserable. Accepting that I need to plan for a crash, and do need to exercise some intelligence when it comes to doing high-cost activities has meant that my life still feels a little like mine - caution is essential but not at the expense of joy.
Yes 🙌 this is exactly it Kathryn, I’m so glad you get it
I just think - if I was to stay in that state and never crash or burn out, I’d never leave my home. Because everyone is too much. Talking to people is too much - but I also love it so much.
I tried to explain it to my PhD supervisor and he was just a bit mortified 😅 but I think I’d find that environment so much easier to be in if I was allowed to work hard for three months (and get way more done than a neurotypical person) and then stay home for six months… but you can’t do that, can you. If you get to that point then you’ve apparently done something wrong
The underlying issue is that like so many things the idea of balance is without nuance - your balance, my balance will look different to someone else's. The idea of us all aspiring to live these careful, neat lives is a bit horrifying. Yet that's what we're urged to aim for! Really interesting discussion x
This idea has shown up in my own processing of life, the ups and downs, and finally realizing that perfect balance does not exist but is just what you said, constantly making micro movements to come back to center when we inevitably go off. My vision is more of a tightrope walker or an airplane, but just that state of recalibration being active, not just a goal we reach and then never have to do again.
I do find it challenging to let things get a little out of whack for a time, but it’s true that if there’s also joy then perhaps it’s worthwhile to embrace that feeling too :)
Yeah, I think the article came from my own discomfort over letting things get out of whack - even for the good things
And when I unpacked why that was, I do think it’s more to do with feeling guilty or bad or like it’s wrong or unhealthy - actually it’s that worry that it’s unhealthy - to do things that push me quite far away from my centre.
But so often, I find that that is where the joy is ❤️
Like pottering around my garden on my own is lovely, but I also want the city breaks and the feeling of achievement when I do something hard or I want to go to ten million social events and revel in how many lovely friendships I have before falling into an exhausted pile on the floor 😆
I have definitely limited social interactions in recent years, because of that feeling exactly! Perhaps there will be time when it's worth it, and times when I should say no. There is no magic point when this will all be figured out, which is liberating and terrifying haha!
Yeah, I think I really struggle to distinguish between the times when I should push through and go and the times when I need to say no. Perhaps it will get easier with practice?
I started saying no over autumn/winter week of my menstrual cycle. It was the most challenging time to say no (we’re supposed to pretend we don’t have periods).
Now my boyf has done me a spreadsheet of my cycle so I can look in advance and pick and choose the events to say yes or no to!
The frustration at having to rest during such long periods of the month (just to avoid severe and agonising pain) became a practice too🙃 but now I only live with mild pain and few symptoms (which only continue to improve over time). I’ve surpassed what is medically believed is possible.
Learning to ‘winter’ has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done (before that I thought slowing down was difficult enough and felt physically sick sharing this out loud with my audience the other year).
But wintering has been so hard in the world we live in (where the expectation is to continue in like a lit up Christmas tree), that it was actually easier for me to be in severe & agonising pain (plus the other myriad of symptoms) than it was to make these changes.
So I really do get now why we have so many limiting beliefs around what is or isn’t possible😅
Sometimes our bodies move slower than we think they should, than we would like them to. I love how supportive your boyfriend was in helping you discover what you need during those times! I definitely have different energy at different times of the month, and not judging myself for that has been a challenge.
It’s sad that we feel we must be in so much pain, go through so much struggle, to be a person of worth in our society. Cheers to us who are saying F that!
Loved reading this Zoe. So beautifully expressed. The term ‘work-life balance’ often makes me wince (as do most phrases that are disproportionately used for women). Similar to the term ‘slow living.’ I always feel I don’t want to do everything slowly. I think about the term ‘rhythm’ and think life’s rhythms are constantly changing. I often think ‘I don’t want an average slower pace, I want to speed over some things and make space and time for the things I *really* want to do.’ A lovely read x
Thanks Ange ❤️ I also feel this way about slow living. And have also felt huge guilt over my life not being slow, at times, like I’m doing something wrong or even harmful for myself? But I don’t think the life of a human has ever been slow or calm or balanced, I think we’re mostly looking back at ‘before’ with rose tinted glasses.
I like having the privilege to stop if I want to. But also having the privilege to dive headfirst into a thing and be completely exhausted by it 😆
You put it so well Zoe. I definitely need my ‘bookends’ of a different pace either side of something but to have the permission to go for that ‘something’ ☺️
I love the topic of balance and all the different angles and views on it. An area I am deeply intrigued by.
I read balance your hormones balance your life 5+ years ago. It took me 3 years of implementing all I researched to feel a sense of balance in my body. But perhaps this is also links to the homeostasis you link to?
I don’t see balance without any give and take, as any perfect measure or as equal sides of any scale.
It’s a complex subject and I’ve started to see this with a few things lately; success, freedom, money, wellbeing. The first place I’d recommend each of us to start is by asking ourselves the question: what does it mean to me?
I don’t know if I’m being too literal, but I don’t think I’m the only one? And balance really feels like something you can fail at - when you lose balance, you fall over. So the word inherently puts this pressure on you to be perfect.
In terms of your body - your hormones etc - I would say that is homeostasis, yes ❤️ though admittedly balance is a much more accessible term 😅
I do think you’re right though - it’s about what it means to you personally - and I think it’s another reminder that the internet can’t give you that answer 😆❤️
It’s a brilliant read. You can never be too literal.
You’re definitely not the only one to feel this way! I’ve gone so far as in my own blog to suggest that the systems we have created make balance an impossibility to achieve. (They haven’t been set up with our needs in mind and balance could be one of them)
And, of course, if you/i/we don’t achieve it then it’s your/my/our fault !!!! Another epic fail to add to our life long list of failures. I’ll get the link to mine for you and share it here. It’s a bit of a longer read because there is so much to say on such a deep subject and I could write many blogs on this term.
I do think that’s what I’m grappling with when I think about this. Because maybe I would feel loads better if my day to day life was set up to be in that balanced flow state? But then I also really enjoy some of the things that make me feel really overwhelmed and exhausted… so what do I really want? 🤷🏻♀️😅
It’s such a fascinating topic with no right or wrong answers or thoughts.
Resisting the flow of life and imbalance in my body has been a major player in my illness - down to root cause level. So learning to live in flow state and bring back balance in my life, is a big part of my wellness.
I sat with the questions
1. What are my needs?
2. What are my transferable skills?
3. What do I enjoy doing?
And took all the aspects of these to create something new. Made some space so that I could work around illness which eventually led to creating a life I love. My way on my terms that serves all my needs, has turned out to be a dream way of living and become very purposeful. Without the overwhelm and exhaustion and sacrificing myself.
You are one of those people I truly respect in this space ❤️ and still have so much to learn from.
I was at a well-being event on Wednesday and the woman on the table next to me just started packing up, three hours early. She’d hit her point of being overstimulated and was leaving (I was already halfway to a headache 😅🫠)
I’m always so grateful to those of you modelling this way of being and do dream it for myself in the future ✨
I have written about this balance topic before, as I am with you on the opening statement, life is never balanced and I feel like most of what is talked about is BS, especially when we relate it to motherhood! There are always things.. so I love the perspective you brought today.
We need sustainability, so the ebbing back and forth is kind of what it is, and learning how to live with the chaos and challenges without it frying it us mentally. And that all takes time.
“When I read peoples words on balance, when I think about it in reference to my own life, I feel like I am failing when I shout or when I struggle or when I have a hard day. When I need to take a break or rest - that need somehow showing my failure. Like an impossible tightrope that you must never fall off of. We must constantly be trying to keep our stress processes turned off, our nervous systems beautifully well regulated.”
… not a failure when we need to rest or break at all, it is so important for our body, mind and spirit. Our society has made it look like we are “bad” for needing it because social media has promoted a fake culture of living…everyone is trying to achieve something that I don’t think that anyone is even doing! I truly believe it is about finding ways to calm the stress amidst the chaos, that is what regulating nervous system is about, because you can NEVER just turn off all of the stress! I could go on and on so I am not sure if my point came across completely 😂
Truly loved the article! ❤️
Finding ways to calm the stress amidst the chaos - yes 🙌 yes!
And you’re so right, motherhood brings a whole other level.
Sarah Shotts talks about this a lot, but before I had children, I could be in really overstimulating environments and it was okay because I got to go home after and it was quiet and tidy and fine. Now I don’t get that 😂 and so, I really do need to be using these tools and practices to calm myself in the middle of all the noise and chaos because it’s not going anywhere any time soon
Yesss that overstimulation coming at you from every angle! .. exhausting haha I will have to read more from Sarah Shotts!!
I love this article and the discussion in the comments. For a long time I was a proponent of work-life balance, but not in the way most people think of it. I never considered balance to be equal weights on a scale as it's actually impossible to "balance" time at home and time and work. To me balance is more about how you feel and being cognizant and intentional about the activities you choose to do so that you can feel more homeostatic, despite the fact your world might be burning down all around you.
I also like to use actual balancing poses as a good metaphor for this idea of "balance" in all other areas of life. When you stand on one foot in a. Tree Pose, for example, there is an illusion of stillness. But if you pay really close attention, all the muscles, bones, and joints are in a constant micro-dance compensating and adjusting to create the illusion of stillness. Or maybe you're not still at all and you're wobbling along with all those micro-movements. That is the pose. Being still in Tree Pose is not the pose. Being in the sway and responding to it and constantly compensating and falling out and coming back in. That is the practice and that is the pose. I life, it's about all the things we do to come back to center. All the time we set aside for practicing. All the decisions and intentional actions we take to come back to a feeling of "center."
Balance is like the word self-care. It's buzzy and totally misunderstood. Unfortunately, we live in a time when everyone wants a quick fix and a buzzword. The reality is everything in life is hard work. It's this idea of easeful living that I think is all wrong. I once took the phrase "My work is my life" and turned it on its head. Your life is your work. It's nuanced so it never caught on but I still think it's true.
I love this so so much ❤️
What I got from this is that our idea of balance, is like seeing a still photo of someone doing tree pose on the internet, trying to do tree pose and feeling not good enough when you wobble. When the actual practicality of balance is you actually doing tree pose and accepting you’re wobbly.
I do also think though, that for some of us, falling on the floor trying to do tree pose is inevitable. This does tie into what Amber is saying above about it being society that stops us achieving this, for sure - but I do think for me, being autistic, following the metaphor, tree pose is impossible to achieve. But I still get to stand back up and fall back down and keep trying ❤️ without feeling like it’s me that’s wrong and without choosing just to keep lying on the floor because it’s safer
I hope you don’t mind me offering a few additional thoughts. First, the idea of “achieving” tree pose is oxymoronic. It assumes that there is one right way to do it. Just as no two trees are ever going to be exactly alike in nature, there is no such thing as a perfect tree pose and therefore nothing to achieve. If anything, the achievement is recognizing that there is nothing to achieve! Additionally, if you really want to be able to stand on one foot but for whatever reason it’s impossible to so without falling down or feeling safe, ask for help. Use a chair or a wall. Find support. Though society doesn’t like this either, society does support doing everything you can to “achieve your goal.” If your goal is to balance in tree pose and in order for you to do that you need help, then you need help. Simple as that. No judgments. I hope that is helpful for you.
Thank you 🙏🏼
I do think it is a bit more complex than that when you live with disability and you can ask for help and know what you need but it can be very hard to actually receive it. People don’t hear you or they don’t understand or, because you’re a minority voice, the help offered is difficult to receive and leaves you feeling like an alien. Asking for help as an autistic woman is a whole other essay, I feel.
But all of the above is something I have come to learn and am trying to accept since my diagnosis. Because I also believed that, if I just had the piece of paper that confirmed my disability and I could just ask for what I needed, I would surely receive it. And sadly that has not been the case in most instances.
So if a place or a space does not currently have capacity to change for me, then I either miss out or I need to make the concious decision to keep being there anyways and to manage the fall out of that.
❤️
Way back before I became a mother myself I did my Masters research on the experience of mothers returning to the workplace after having children. I came to the conclusion that there was really no such thing as work-life balance and that it became another thing that mothers beat themselves up about. Rather there was adaptation, adjustment, constant calibration of needs, times when different domains were dominant, very much the ebb and flow you describe. I think we are conditioned to think of ourselves like linear machines when we are complex natural systems with cyclical processes. This is yet another way the patriarchy operates!
Ooo this is an interesting thing to think about. Do you think men are more linear? And is that why this is a thing at all - because for them it’s not so hard to just be centred? Because they’re not going through these big physical life transitions (outside of adolescence and then death) and they’re not having this monthly up and down? But also they created the social system we live in…
I found going back to work so incredibly hard. Even when I went from one baby to two - which I stupidly thought would be okay because I already had done it once before 😅
I do think that there is a complete invisibility of the cyclical lived experience of women and then the transition that is matrescence (at least in our culture). Many systems and processes in modern life are based on the linear rationality of machines rather than a more fluid organic evolving process. That probably is because linearity is more typically associated with male experience. Although arguably, given that nature is cyclical, this isn’t rational at all. Which is another reason why we are destroying our environment. And men are also damaged by the narrative that privileges linear thought. Because they are part of nature too. But they have been told that they are separate from it (and masters of it). Lots to unpack here!!!!
Yes Ali & Zoe!! Love this discussion! x
Such interesting research! I love how you describe us as "complex natural systems with cyclical processes." If only people would click on a headline like that 😂
Yes it’s a bit like tips and tricks and hacks for life when there are no simple answers, but it makes for a better headline. If I recall, my dissertation used the language of work-life balance in the absence of anything more nuanced!
Oh - ‘there are no simple answers’ - how true a phrase. As a side note, I think this has been made worse by social media because that kind of content - ‘5 ways to feel X’ or ‘try this and feel Y’ is so easy to make lots of
Language and human psychology are fascinating, lol.
Yes! The most freeing thing said as part of my sessions with the community neuro rehab team was that my way of living with M.E. might be exactly type of "pendulum". I spent the first four years post diagnosis trying to live a measured, balanced life and it was miserable. Accepting that I need to plan for a crash, and do need to exercise some intelligence when it comes to doing high-cost activities has meant that my life still feels a little like mine - caution is essential but not at the expense of joy.
Yes 🙌 this is exactly it Kathryn, I’m so glad you get it
I just think - if I was to stay in that state and never crash or burn out, I’d never leave my home. Because everyone is too much. Talking to people is too much - but I also love it so much.
I tried to explain it to my PhD supervisor and he was just a bit mortified 😅 but I think I’d find that environment so much easier to be in if I was allowed to work hard for three months (and get way more done than a neurotypical person) and then stay home for six months… but you can’t do that, can you. If you get to that point then you’ve apparently done something wrong
The underlying issue is that like so many things the idea of balance is without nuance - your balance, my balance will look different to someone else's. The idea of us all aspiring to live these careful, neat lives is a bit horrifying. Yet that's what we're urged to aim for! Really interesting discussion x
This idea has shown up in my own processing of life, the ups and downs, and finally realizing that perfect balance does not exist but is just what you said, constantly making micro movements to come back to center when we inevitably go off. My vision is more of a tightrope walker or an airplane, but just that state of recalibration being active, not just a goal we reach and then never have to do again.
I do find it challenging to let things get a little out of whack for a time, but it’s true that if there’s also joy then perhaps it’s worthwhile to embrace that feeling too :)
Yeah, I think the article came from my own discomfort over letting things get out of whack - even for the good things
And when I unpacked why that was, I do think it’s more to do with feeling guilty or bad or like it’s wrong or unhealthy - actually it’s that worry that it’s unhealthy - to do things that push me quite far away from my centre.
But so often, I find that that is where the joy is ❤️
Like pottering around my garden on my own is lovely, but I also want the city breaks and the feeling of achievement when I do something hard or I want to go to ten million social events and revel in how many lovely friendships I have before falling into an exhausted pile on the floor 😆
I have definitely limited social interactions in recent years, because of that feeling exactly! Perhaps there will be time when it's worth it, and times when I should say no. There is no magic point when this will all be figured out, which is liberating and terrifying haha!
Yeah, I think I really struggle to distinguish between the times when I should push through and go and the times when I need to say no. Perhaps it will get easier with practice?
I started saying no over autumn/winter week of my menstrual cycle. It was the most challenging time to say no (we’re supposed to pretend we don’t have periods).
Now my boyf has done me a spreadsheet of my cycle so I can look in advance and pick and choose the events to say yes or no to!
The frustration at having to rest during such long periods of the month (just to avoid severe and agonising pain) became a practice too🙃 but now I only live with mild pain and few symptoms (which only continue to improve over time). I’ve surpassed what is medically believed is possible.
Learning to ‘winter’ has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done (before that I thought slowing down was difficult enough and felt physically sick sharing this out loud with my audience the other year).
But wintering has been so hard in the world we live in (where the expectation is to continue in like a lit up Christmas tree), that it was actually easier for me to be in severe & agonising pain (plus the other myriad of symptoms) than it was to make these changes.
So I really do get now why we have so many limiting beliefs around what is or isn’t possible😅
Sometimes our bodies move slower than we think they should, than we would like them to. I love how supportive your boyfriend was in helping you discover what you need during those times! I definitely have different energy at different times of the month, and not judging myself for that has been a challenge.
It’s sad that we feel we must be in so much pain, go through so much struggle, to be a person of worth in our society. Cheers to us who are saying F that!
Cheers to that indeed 🥂
Loved reading this Zoe. So beautifully expressed. The term ‘work-life balance’ often makes me wince (as do most phrases that are disproportionately used for women). Similar to the term ‘slow living.’ I always feel I don’t want to do everything slowly. I think about the term ‘rhythm’ and think life’s rhythms are constantly changing. I often think ‘I don’t want an average slower pace, I want to speed over some things and make space and time for the things I *really* want to do.’ A lovely read x
Thanks Ange ❤️ I also feel this way about slow living. And have also felt huge guilt over my life not being slow, at times, like I’m doing something wrong or even harmful for myself? But I don’t think the life of a human has ever been slow or calm or balanced, I think we’re mostly looking back at ‘before’ with rose tinted glasses.
I like having the privilege to stop if I want to. But also having the privilege to dive headfirst into a thing and be completely exhausted by it 😆
You put it so well Zoe. I definitely need my ‘bookends’ of a different pace either side of something but to have the permission to go for that ‘something’ ☺️
It’s an interesting topic to debate. Here’s a blog I wrote on it last year:
https://warriorwithin.substack.com/p/lets-talk-about-balance
I love the topic of balance and all the different angles and views on it. An area I am deeply intrigued by.
I read balance your hormones balance your life 5+ years ago. It took me 3 years of implementing all I researched to feel a sense of balance in my body. But perhaps this is also links to the homeostasis you link to?
I don’t see balance without any give and take, as any perfect measure or as equal sides of any scale.
It’s a complex subject and I’ve started to see this with a few things lately; success, freedom, money, wellbeing. The first place I’d recommend each of us to start is by asking ourselves the question: what does it mean to me?
I totally forgot I’d scheduled this to come out 😂
I don’t know if I’m being too literal, but I don’t think I’m the only one? And balance really feels like something you can fail at - when you lose balance, you fall over. So the word inherently puts this pressure on you to be perfect.
In terms of your body - your hormones etc - I would say that is homeostasis, yes ❤️ though admittedly balance is a much more accessible term 😅
I do think you’re right though - it’s about what it means to you personally - and I think it’s another reminder that the internet can’t give you that answer 😆❤️
It’s a brilliant read. You can never be too literal.
You’re definitely not the only one to feel this way! I’ve gone so far as in my own blog to suggest that the systems we have created make balance an impossibility to achieve. (They haven’t been set up with our needs in mind and balance could be one of them)
And, of course, if you/i/we don’t achieve it then it’s your/my/our fault !!!! Another epic fail to add to our life long list of failures. I’ll get the link to mine for you and share it here. It’s a bit of a longer read because there is so much to say on such a deep subject and I could write many blogs on this term.
I do like that perspective ❤️
I do think that’s what I’m grappling with when I think about this. Because maybe I would feel loads better if my day to day life was set up to be in that balanced flow state? But then I also really enjoy some of the things that make me feel really overwhelmed and exhausted… so what do I really want? 🤷🏻♀️😅
It’s such a fascinating topic with no right or wrong answers or thoughts.
Resisting the flow of life and imbalance in my body has been a major player in my illness - down to root cause level. So learning to live in flow state and bring back balance in my life, is a big part of my wellness.
I sat with the questions
1. What are my needs?
2. What are my transferable skills?
3. What do I enjoy doing?
And took all the aspects of these to create something new. Made some space so that I could work around illness which eventually led to creating a life I love. My way on my terms that serves all my needs, has turned out to be a dream way of living and become very purposeful. Without the overwhelm and exhaustion and sacrificing myself.
You are one of those people I truly respect in this space ❤️ and still have so much to learn from.
I was at a well-being event on Wednesday and the woman on the table next to me just started packing up, three hours early. She’d hit her point of being overstimulated and was leaving (I was already halfway to a headache 😅🫠)
I’m always so grateful to those of you modelling this way of being and do dream it for myself in the future ✨
🥰🙏💜it’s a journey, but you’re already on it so the good news is you’re already half way there🌝